I am so bad at this! I keep making so many mistakes, I should just quit!

Imagine reading this blog with only a flickering candle illuminating your space. Without Thomas Edison’s tenacity, we would be doing just that! It actually took Edison one thousand failed attempts before finally inventing the light bulb.

Judy Blume, a renowned American writer of children’s, young adult and adult fiction books faced continued rejection before finally becoming published. She had said, “I would go to sleep at night feeling that I’d never be published. But I’d wake up in the morning convinced I would be.” Each new day symbolized a fresh new page and was filled with optimistic determination. She admitted that rejection and criticism hurt, yet she continued to write with relentless fortitude.

Lucille Ball has made me laugh as far back as I can remember. I recall coming home from challenging school days and watching episodes of “I Love Lucy” feeling my tension melting away. What would my afternoons have been like without the enjoyment of watching Lucy stomping on grapes to make wine, or struggling on an assembly line at a chocolate factory? Ball is yet another example of a well-known figure whose accolades did not come easy. Despite her first films in the 1930s and 1940s being failures, she thankfully believed in herself and went on to star in the beloved series, “I Love Lucy”. Ball paved the way for thousands of women in the entertainment industry for years to come.

All three of these well-known icons persevered in spite of failed attempts and rejections. They did not allow obstacles to hold them back from pursuing their dreams. Can you imagine if they just threw their arms up and said, “oh well, I give up, I’m not good at this.” Instead, they each welcomed their setbacks and used them as tools to press forward. They perceived failure as an opportunity to learn and hone their skills. They embraced their challenges and believed that their intelligence, talents and abilities could be enhanced through determination and hard work. The one boundless attribute they all had in common was a growth mindset.

What is a growth mindset, and can it be learned?

A growth mindset is the belief that you are in control of your own abilities and a willingness to accept challenges and failures as stepping-stones. A person with a growth mindset understands that their talents and capabilities can be developed through effort and persistence. The good news is that a growth mindset can be learned! With practice and consistency, everyone has the capacity to reprogram their thought process towards productivity and success. Gaining new perspectives and consistently applying positive self-talk will undoubtedly lead you towards your true potential.

As adults, our brains can develop and improve by simply changing our outlook on self-limiting beliefs and failure. Let’s say you are working on a project that seems arduous and hopeless.

You find yourself saying: “This seems so difficult. I can’t do this!”

Try adding the word “yet” at the end of that sentence, changing it to: “This seems so difficult. I can’t do this YET!”

Just that one simple word creates a shift in positivity and confidence. It is an invitation to believe in your capabilities and forge ahead. Implementing this small modification to your thinking process will encourage you to proceed through difficult tasks with newfound optimism.

Congratulations! You have mustered the courage to continue on your quest. You have taken the necessary first steps towards your desired outcome. Now, what happens if you proceed with the task at hand and find that you make one mistake after the next. Will you immediately get discouraged and put yourself down? Will you automatically feel like a failure and give up?

What does it really mean to fail?

Failure simply means there is something to be learned or a different direction to be taken. Try to perceive your mistakes as blessings and opportunities projecting you forward. By assessing your mistakes, you can find ways to fix them and work towards achieving your goals. Try to view your challenges as magnets towards problem solving rather than feelings of discouragement and defeat. By training yourself to recognize these hurdles as lessons, you will inevitably cultivate a more positive mindset leading you towards optimal success.

When you have a moment, think back and reflect on one specific experience you encountered that did not go as planned.

Utilizing this new approach, ask yourself these three vital questions:

• Was the self-talk and perception of myself and abilities accurate?

• How could I have responded differently, bringing me closer to my goal?

• What could I have learned from that experience?

The next time you feel defeated by non-success, immediately talk yourself out of it! Ask yourself those questions in the present tense.

Embrace your challenges and use them to steer you towards your desired outcome. Always seize the opportunity to learn from unsuccessful attempts, be persistent and work hard. Accept that learning from failed efforts will always lead to growth and tremendous personal development. Never ever give up!

“You may encounter many defeats, but you must not be defeated. In fact, it may be necessary to encounter defeats, so you know who you are, what you can rise from, how you can still come out of it.” – Maya Angelou

Would you like to develop a positive mindset? I would love to help. Learn more about our sessions.